I feel as if a shell has been growing around me, like an egg, the inside is very delicate, but the outside is brittle, hard but brittle. Knock it in the right spot and it will shatter. It remains to be seen if that will happen and what the consequences will be.
That's for later, as for now
I've come to this, writing my thoughts into the ether because I don't have any friends, no one person who likes me for friendships sake only. I don't say that to get sympathy, its just happened like that. I don't think I'm unlikable, its just that I've usually drawn friends from where I work, with one or two rare exceptions, now I'm the bosses partner and that means on the one hand they think I can't entirely be trusted and on the other I have to moderate my behaviour because I'm one of the bosses. You would be right in thinking I have painted myself into a corner. Can't think of a damned thing to do about it though. This leaves me with a dilemma, a great deal to talk about, and no one to talk too. So I've decided to talk to the internet, how very very in the moment I feel right now.
I work in a place that talks to people, people with needs, be it money, homes, stability they are vunerable and have needs. Similarly, the people in the office have needs, work, companionship, etc. I manage the work people who talk to the people with needs. It can be very stressful, after all who gose home happy after spending an hour with people who can't feed their children?
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